Dawn Of Time
by Megan8
Summary: Season 3 through Dawn's eyes, emphasis muchly on the Buffy/Faith shippy.
1. Faith, Dawn And Dinner

Dawn Of Time  
  
Part One: Faith, Dawn and dinner  
  
Author: Megan  
  
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Nothing 'BtVS' related is mine. They belong to other people, Joss and whomever.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please: shy_grrl@hotmail.com  
  
Summary: Buffy brings a new slayer home for dinner.  
  
Spoilers: Pretty much anything. Lots from 'Faith, Hope and Trick' from season 3.  
  
Author's Notes: This story kinda works on the idea that Dawn is a real character, and not just some lame ass plot twist. It could also maybe work as a series of falsified memories planted by the monks. In short, it is season three with Dawn as the bonus element, and focus on the Buffy/Faith relationship. Also, lots of Buffy and Dawn sister stuff. Hope you don't mind about the latter, I just love writing it so much.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
"So Faith", mom fusses all over the new girl, loading fries on her plate, "You're a slayer too? Do you like it?"  
  
"I love it", the brunette replies.  
  
Well, duh. Who wouldn't? Who wouldn't love the attention it brings you? Sure Buffy acts like it's this huge burden. She runs away, and mopes, and whines. Cause life is SO HARD when you're the slayer! But it's all an act. Deep down I know she loves it. Just like this new girl.  
  
"Mom...", Buffy is feeling all neglected. She wants mom to give HER food too!  
  
"Just a second honey", mom brushes her aside.  
  
I bow my head in an attempt to hide my smirk. What a pointless move. Like anyone even knows I exist with the two slayers in the room.  
  
"You know Buffy never talks that way", mom goes on.  
  
Of course she doesn't. Cause Buffy likes to be a martyr. Buffy likes it when people go all, 'Uuh! Aren't you the most selfless girl in the universe, sacrificing your own happiness for others! Can we please bow down in front of you?'  
  
"Tell me, why do you love it?", there's no end to mom's excitement. I can't see why she's so obsessed with this Faith. Usually it's plenty enough when her firstborn princess is home.  
  
Buffy reaches out and starts scooping up fries. Oh my God! She's actually getting her own food. It must be like the first time ever.  
  
"Well, when I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away", Faith says. And I roll my eyes, "And I only know one thing. That I'm gona win and they're gona lose", oh, please! What. Ever, "I like that feeling", she finishes.  
  
God! What a show off. Why is it that all the slayers are such freaks! Why can't they give the powers to normal girls, like me? I bet I'd be way better at it anyways.  
  
"Sure", Buffy talks. And now that she's got everyone's attention she actually agrees to finish the sentence, "Beats that dead feeling you get, when they win and you lose."  
  
I grin again. Okay, so Buffy can be kinda funny when she wants to. Mom and Faith don't see the humor.  
  
"I don't like that kind of negative thinking", the brunette says.  
  
Of course you don't. Slut. It was just a freaking joke. The least you could do is smile. Or keep your mouth shut. I think I like my sister better than this new chick. And that says a lot about her. Cause I really don't like my sister all that much. Well, yeah, of course I love her, cause, like, well, she's my sister. And she's pretty cool sometimes. But sometimes I hate her. Like when she runs away, and leaves me all alone here.  
  
"Right, right", mom enthuses, "That could get you hurt. Buffy can be awfully negative sometimes", I swallow down a groan growing in my throat, "See Buffy? You got to fight that."  
  
It was just a joke! I want to scream. The setting is weird. Buffy against the two. Usually I like seeing people gang up on Buffy, but this time I'm actually on her side. Well, no, not really. I'm just an observer.  
  
"I'm working on it", Buffy nods her head and gives mom a meek smile.  
  
Faith, the new girl is stuffing down food. Gross. Her mouth is full and she's still putting more fries in it. What a pig. I lose my appetite on the spot.  
  
"Faith, can I get you another soft drink?", mom asks her, suddenly realizing the girl's glass is empty. And we can't have our new slayer going thirsty!  
  
"You bet", Faith answers and hands her glass to mom, "Thanks."  
  
Mom leaves and I look after her, while playing with my fries. Then I turn back and find the two slayers ogling at each other, "She's pretty cool, ha?", the brunette says quietly  
  
Buffy smirks, "Best mom ever", she picks up her glass and stands up, "Excuse me", she says and follows mom into the kitchen.  
  
Yes, please do leave me alone with the weird girl. It's not like I was the one who invited her here. Why should I have to suffer her company?  
  
Faith leans over the table and stakes a few of Buffy's fries with her fork. She then glances at me and grins, "Mums the words", she mumbles. I give her a fake-ish smile back, "So, what? You like mute or something?"  
  
"No, I'm not mute", I throw back with a bored voice. I talk plenty. I just look who I waste my breath on.  
  
She looks at me for a few seconds and then shrugs and returns to devouring whatever she gets her hands on. What. A. Pig.  
  
"So... what?", I finally say. If I get her talking, maybe she'll stop grossing me out with her eating, "You like hungry or something?"  
  
Faith turns to look at me again. There's like a half smile on her face, "Yeah. Slaying always makes me hungry and...", she stops in mid sentence and frowns, "How old are you by the way?"  
  
"Twelve", I answer, glaring at her. Please don't bring up some stupid age stuff! I'm way more mature than you! Way more.  
  
"Are you sure?", she looks at me crookedly and grins, "Cause you look more like ten."  
  
Fine! Whatever. I don't give a shit what you think. God, what a bitch, "Are you sure you're a slayer?", I bite back. I can be bitchy too. When I want to, "Cause you look more like a hooker."  
  
The brunette just laughs a little, surprising me. I thought she'd get angry. Like Buffy, when I insult her, "You think?", Faith says with a gleam in her eyes, "Thanks. That's kinda what I was going for, you know?"  
  
Oh. Okay. Sure. Take it as a compliment. See if I care. Cause I don't. I. Do. Not. Care.  
  
"It attracts vamps much better", she goes on when I don't say anything, "Especially male vamps. Cause they may be dead, but they're still men. You know what I mean?", she says winking an eye at me.  
  
Sure I know. I know plenty. I'm like, twelve, and way educated, "No. I don't have a clue", I answer with a mocking tone, "Cause, you know... I'm EIGHT. And I don't know anything about... like...", I start shaking my head, "Sex... or anything like that."  
  
"Right", she says stuffing even more food into her mouth. How much can one girl eat anyway?, "Look, I only meant it as a joke. The age thing", she says after swallowing everything down. I can picture this huge lump slowly sliding down her throat. And it makes me sick. So sick, I can't answer her apology. Not that she expects me to. Only eats more. Maybe I should offer her my plate too. Cause there's no way I'm eating anything tonight.  
  
"So what's it like anyway, being the slayer's little sister?", Faith asks after another snake imitation, "And why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
"What? I.. I'm not looking at you", my eyes start to wander around the room. Quick, change the subject, "So uhm...", oh yeah, the question, "It's okay. Being Buffy's sister. She's always saving my life", I blurt out. Why did I say that? It's not okay. That's not how I feel. I hate being her sister. She's always ignoring me, "Of course, it's her fault I even ever get into trouble."  
  
"What do you mean?", she asks and frowns, when I turn to look at her again.  
  
Thank God she isn't eating anything at the moment, "Well cause, you know. The Hellmouth. All kinds of nasty demons and they are all so stupid. It's like the only plan they can form is, 'Uuh! Let's kidnap the slayer's sister and then lure her into a trap!' Like when's that ever worked anywhere?"  
  
"That is sad", she nods once, and then turns her attention back to the food. I'm quick to look away, "What?!", her voice is a little mumbly as she talks with food still in her mouth.  
  
I shut my eyes tightly trying to push the image out of my head, "Nothing", I whisper.  
  
Faith doesn't say anything more. There's a short silence, and I open my eyes when it's broken by footsteps. My sister walks in carrying two glasses. She places one on the table and hands out the other one to the brunette.  
  
"Thanks", the girl says, "You know, your sister's a bit strange, B."  
  
Yeah, I'M the one who's strange. And what's up with the B?, "I know", Buffy answers and glances at me. There's a smile on her face, "She been keeping you company?"  
  
Faith nods and takes a sip from her glass, "I think I scared her a little with my eating habits", she says and grins evilly at me.  
  
"Really?", Buffy frowns. And now they're both looking at me. The only time I ever get any attention is, when people are making fun of me, "Well, you should see her engulfing ice-cream. Now THAT'S a scary sight", her frown changes into a grin. I shake my head and glower at her. But I refuse to give them the satisfaction of getting into an argument. I'm way too mature for that kind of stuff, "Lots of slurping sounds, and pretty soon it's all gone. In fact, I think you WILL see for yourself later, cause mom's planning on having it for dessert", Faith's laughing again.  
  
I refuse to open my mouth. I won't lower myself to their level. Stupid slayers. Why can't they go ruin someone else's life?  
  
Mom walks back in, "Can I go upstairs, mom?", I ask her immediately.  
  
She looks confused, "What? You haven't eaten anything Dawn", she answers and takes her seat.  
  
"I'm not hungry", I say with a little too whiny voice. I hate it when my voice betrays me. I'm NOT a whiny little kid.  
  
"Well okay", mom nods. And I stand up, ready to leave, "But come back down soon. We're having ice-cream for dessert", and the two girls start snickering.  
  
Great. First they can't stand each other, and then they bond over making fun of me. What a happy future I have ahead of me. What a lucky girl I am, to have such a nice sister.  
  
"God. Is it like a rule or something, that all slayers must have smaller IQs than... than...", just great! Now I can't even come up with a good comparison, "Than me?", I blurt out lamely and exit.  
  
The laughter gets a little louder, and I hear mom's confused voice repeating the word, "What?"  
  
  
  
tbc 


	2. Waiting Up

Dawn Of Time  
  
Part Two: Waiting Up  
  
  
  
Author: Megan  
  
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Nothing 'BtVS' related is mine. They belong to other people, Joss and whomever.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please: shy_grrl@hotmail.com  
  
Summary: Dawn suffers from insomnia.  
  
Spoilers: Pretty much anything. Lots from 'Faith, Hope and Trick' from season 3.  
  
Author's Notes: This story kinda works on the idea that Dawn is a real character, and not just some lame ass plot twist. It could also maybe work as a series of falsified memories planted by the monks. In short, it is season three with Dawn as the bonus element, and focus on the Buffy/Faith relationship. Also, lots of Buffy and Dawn sister stuff. Hope you don't mind about the latter, I just love writing it so much.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Sometimes I wait up for Buffy. Just to hear her come in. Just to know that she's still here. And not gone. In the daytime, it's easy to hate her, easy to see all her annoying qualities. Easy to fight with her. But at night... at night I understand her better. When it gets dark, I find I love her more. I'm even proud of her, proud that she's my sister. Proud that she does the things she does, without asking anything in return.  
  
Sometimes I sit on the floor in my room, by the door, which I've left open a crack. And wait for the quiet footsteps, for the sound of a door opening.  
  
This time she comes in a little after midnight. I've already written down the events of the dinner in my diary. In excruciating detail. And moved on to making a list of things that are bigger than the average slayer's IQ. Like the number fifty...five. Buffy bringing up the curve by five points. Cause, really she is quite smart. In that stupid way.  
  
I hear Buffy's footsteps getting closer, and then stop. And then nothing for a few seconds. And then a low groan, followed by a few muttered words. I hear her footsteps getting farther. I hear her open the bathroom door. It always creaks quietly.  
  
The most disgusting aspect of the slaying thing has to be the impurity factor. You get all sweaty, and the vampire dust gets everywhere, all over your clothes. Not to mention the demon-yuck-smell. Grossness.  
  
I hear Buffy turn on the shower.  
  
I don't know how she stands it. I'd be wearing like a... a... one of those radiation-protection-suities. What is it with the demons anyway? Don't they care about hygiene and such? Just because you're all evil and demon-y, doesn't mean you have to be repulsive, does it? Just once I'd like to see a tall, dark, and handsome baddie. Well, there was Angel of course... so maybe that's even worse. Cause then it's probably even harder to kill them. Especially, if you've been silly enough to fall in love with it... him.  
  
Buffy turns off the shower.  
  
Not that, that gives you the right to just take off, and leave everyone behind. Cause, like, people depend on you. People NEED you. I need you, cause you're my sister. And I don't have enough of those to go around.  
  
I close my diary. Buffy's home. Everything's fine for the time being. No reason to stay up any longer.  
  
Just as I'm about to stand up, a knock on my door startles me, "Dawn?", Buffy voices, and pushes the door open. Damn slayer sneakyness! I didn't even hear the bathroom door, "What are you doing?", she asks when she sees me sitting on the floor, with my dumbfounded face turned upwards.  
  
Barely a noticeable bruise decorates her left cheek. She's dressed in her pink bathrobe, and her hair is still wet. Dripping water all over the hallway carpet. I gawk at her for a few seconds, before regaining my wits, "Ever hear of a towel, Buffy?"  
  
"No... I don't think so...", she frowns, "Is it edible?"  
  
"I'm sure YOU could eat it, eggplant-girl", I answer shrugging.  
  
Buffy smirks, "So, why you up so late Dawnie?"  
  
I love it when she calls me Dawnie. Makes me feel so special. Like I matter to her. Like she really cares about me.  
  
I smile at her, "No reason", I say and struggle myself up to my feet, "Did you make nice with your new friend?"  
  
My question wipes off the grin from Buffy's face. Her expression gets all serious for a few seconds. Then she shakes it off, cause everything serious has to be kept way far away from little Dawnie, "Yeah", she smiles again, "Except, I don't think she plays well with others."  
  
"Really? You seemed to be getting along earlier", I try not to let the hurt show in my voice, but a little of it shines through.  
  
She stares at me for a while, with the smile frozen in place, and then starts to giggle, "Aww! We didn't hurt your feelings, did we?", she baby- talks to me, and takes a step closer, "Poor little Dawniee..."  
  
"Stop it Buffy!", I demand, when she raises her hands. Cause I know what's coming next. Quickly I try to jump out of her reach, but of course she's faster. Equipped with the slayer reflexes. It's so unfair. She grabs me by the waist and pushes us both down on the bed, "Buffy!", I scream when she proceeds to tickle me.  
  
"Not so loud!", she says, and just keeps laughing.  
  
"I'm telling mom!", I try to wriggle free from under her.  
  
"I don't think you are", she's still grinning, but stops with the tickling, "Cause you're supposed to be in bed already, little girl."  
  
She's pinning my hands down, preventing me from moving, "I AM in bed, genius."  
  
"Oh", Buffy says, letting her gaze roam around the room, "Right", I roll my eyes, "So, you about ready to tell me why you're still awake?"  
  
"Why do you even care?", I ask back. Annoyed as Hell. Buffy has no right using her slayer strength on me. It's not fair!  
  
She looks confused, "You're my sister. Of course I care ", she says with a sweet smile.  
  
But it's gona take more than that. I keep glaring at her and finally her smile changes into a frown, "Like you cared last summer?", I then ask quietly.  
  
We stare into each others eyes. Pain flashes across her face. Not guilt, not remorse, pain, "What do you mean?", she whispers barely loud enough for me to hear, and stands up.  
  
I crawl away from her, and lean my back against the headboard. Her eyes are glued to mine. She's getting angry and upset, "Nothing", I mumble. An angry Buffy is not a good thing. She says and does things that hurt.  
  
"No, you obviously meant something", she demands to know, "So out with it."  
  
How do I explain it to her? That she is the most important thing in my life. That, if I had to pick one person, who would always be there for me, with me, I'd pick her. I'd choose her over mom. Over dad. Over anyone. So it hurts, when she can just leave me behind, without so much as a good-bye. It hurts, when she can totally forget I even exist.  
  
"I just missed you, that's all", I finally answer with a weak voice.  
  
Buffy looks at me in silence. For a long time, trying to figure out something. I shouldn't have brought up the summer. Cause reminiscing about it, only makes her sad. As witnessed in the zombie-party last week. And despite everything, I don't want to make her sad. Not when she's suffered so much already.  
  
"It wasn't about you", Buffy says and looks away. She shakes her head, "And it wasn't about mom, or Willow, or Xander or any of you", her voice raises with every word, as she's working herself up to a fit, "You couldn't understand..."  
  
"I know!", I quickly interrupt her, before she gets a psychotic episode, and kills us all. Her head slowly turns to me again, "But I still missed you."  
  
Again she looks at me silently for a time, before letting a smile return to her face, "As apocalyptic as it sounds, I missed you too."  
  
I force myself to smile back at her, so as not to be rude. I know she's only joking, the way she always jokes. But sometimes I wonder, if she actually feels partially that way. If I'm nothing more than an annoying responsibility to her.  
  
"Must be one of those freaky side effects of the Hellmouth, hey?", I say, playing along with the avoidance game. 'How to deal with the slayer, for dummies': when in doubt, use humor, "Evoking all these unnatural sympathies towards your sister?"  
  
"Must be", Buffy agrees with a nod, and prepares to leave the room. Once at the doorway, she turns around and opens her mouth, "Did... at the dinner... when you were alone with her...", she starts stuttering and grasping for words. When they don't come to her, she shakes her head and turns to leave again.  
  
"What?", I call after her.  
  
And she spins around again, "Faith... she didn't do, or say anything to... upset you?"  
  
"You mean, besides devour our entire dinner?"  
  
"Yeah", Buffy says and smiles, "Besides that."  
  
I shrug and shake my head, "Nothing, that I can think of."  
  
"So... she didn't seem a little... unbalanced to you?"  
  
"No. Why?", I ask frowning. Buffy's being a little weirdish, "Something happen during the patrol?"  
  
She opens her mouth to answer, then thinks twice about it and doesn't answer. Cause I'm too fragile to hear what happens in the real world, outside my own comfy room, "Nah", she shakes her head, "Nothing big. Goodnight", she says and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.  
  
Right. Nothing big. Fine. I stare at the door for a few moments, before getting up and retrieving the diary from the floor, and crawling back into bed.  
  
  
  
tbc 


	3. Motel Room

Dawn Of Time  
  
Part Three: Motel Room  
  
Author: Megan  
  
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Nothing 'BtVS' related is mine. They belong to other people, Joss and whomever.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please: shy_grrl@hotmail.com  
  
Summary: Buffy and Dawn go on a field trip to the wrong side of the tracks.  
  
Spoilers: Pretty much anything. Lots from 'Faith, Hope and Trick' from season 3.  
  
Author's Notes: This story kinda works on the idea that Dawn is a real character, and not just some lame ass plot twist. It could also maybe work as a series of falsified memories planted by the monks. In short, it is season three with Dawn as the bonus element, and focus on the Buffy/Faith relationship. Also, lots of Buffy and Dawn sister stuff. Hope you don't mind about the latter, I just love writing it so much.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Buffy is speed walking like there's no tomorrow. And there SO is tomorrow, cause there's no way the world would end on a school day. So what's the rush? Just because she's all strong and fast and... and... good stamina- ish, she thinks everyone is.  
  
"Wait already!", I cry after her. Why the Hell did I have to come along on this slumming trip anyway? I have better things to do with my time. Watching tv for instance. Or lying in my bed, and staring at the ceiling. Even that's time better spent than this.  
  
My blond hared slayer sister heaves a drastic sigh and stops in the middle of the road. Throwing back her head, she turns around, and looks real bored, "What now?"  
  
"You...", I say and start looking around the deserted streets. Not a single car, nor a person in sight, "Didn't look... both ways... before...", my voice fades away.  
  
Buffy tilts her head, and glares at me. I quickly look away again, and start walking. She waits till I've passed her and then starts after me. My very own guardian-sister. How cool is that? If I tried to get eaten by a vampire, she'd totally save me.  
  
A rustle from an alley attracts my attention, and I turn to look. But I can't see anything from the darkness. And then Buffy's hand is on my shoulder, encouraging me to keep moving. The world is so safe, with her around. Seems like nothing can hurt me. Who'd figure a town like Sunnydale would even have a crappy side like this? I mean, I'd think anyone who can't afford decent protection would be vampire feed by now. Or maybe my sister is way better at her job than I give her credit for.  
  
"What do you think it was?", I ask Buffy, glancing over my shoulder, hoping to catch a glimpse of something nasty.  
  
"Nothing", she replies, not letting go of my arm, "A cat."  
  
"What if it was a vampire? You think it was a vampire, Buffy?", I ask. Somehow vampires seem so cool. In that dark, mysterious way. Not that I'd ever DATE one, but still... maybe it's that never getting old thing. Of course, the blood sucking is gross! And the killing thing is kind of uncool too, "Shouldn't you go see if it was a vampire, Buffy? I think it was a vampire..."  
  
"If you say vampire one more time, I'm gona have to stake you. Sister, or no sister", Buffy grumbles, as we turn a corner.  
  
Fine. Be that way. It's not like it's my responsibility to keep the streets safe. Just trying to help out... it so could've been a vampire...  
  
Ooh, shiny!  
  
A 'Motel'-sign decorates the nearly fallen down building ahead of us. Smaller, but equally bright signs hang below it. Like 'Vacancy'. What a HUUUGE surprise.  
  
"Is that where she's staying?", I ask. Looks disgusting, "How gross."  
  
Buffy finally lets go of my hand and takes the lead again. We walk up to the parking lot, and she studies the building for a while, "It's not so bad", she says, surprising me.  
  
"You've been there?", I ask looking at her.  
  
She looks back at me and seems surprised, that I'm actually standing next to her, "Well, no. Not in this exact motel", she says and starts moving, "But they're all the same. And quite comfy, once you get settled in."  
  
Oh, yeah. The summer fling strikes back. Again. I let it pass. Such a depressing subject.  
  
I follow Buffy, as she makes her way to the motel, and walks straight for the stairs that lead to the balcony on second floor, "Why did I have to come, Buffy?", I start to gripe, when the prospect of seeing the brunette girl gets closer. I so don't consider her good company.  
  
"Because", she talks in mom-voice, "Dawn cannot be left alone", she repeats the words I've heard a million times during the past months.  
  
Mom's been hyper-careful ever since Buffy came out of the closet, and she learned the truth about the world. Her daughter is... gasp!... a vampire slayer! And of course it all resulted in Buffy running away, and me getting the short end of the stick. My entire summer was practically spent behind locked doors. And not only that, I also lost a perfectly legitimate income, when my blackmailing operation was shut down. Okay, so it wasn't as much legitimate, as it was fun. Buffy was ready to do almost anything to keep her dirty little secret.  
  
"Well, why couldn't I stay with Willow?"  
  
"You're kidding, right?", Buffy says, and stops midway up the stairs. I almost bump into her, "I wouldn't do that to my best friend."  
  
"Do what?!", come on!, "Willow likes me! She always says so!"  
  
"Shh...", Buffy hisses, and holds her right hand up.  
  
I wait quietly for a second, and hear nothing. Then Buffy starts moving again, "What?", I ask, still annoyed by her evil comment. Willow so likes being with me. She does...  
  
And then the low talking voices reach me. Must be what Buffy was listening to. They're coming through an open doorway, I realize.  
  
"... you will someday?", it's Faith, the backup slayer's voice, oozing with sweetness.  
  
Buffy leads me straight towards the open door, "Not if I listen to broads like you", replies a bored male voice. We run into its owner in the doorway, "Roommates are extra", the freak quickly adds, pointing at Buffy, and looking back at Faith.  
  
"We're just visiting", Buffy says and squeezes past him inside, dragging me behind her.  
  
The super-hunk, dressed in the most disgusting sleeveless white shirt I've ever seen, keeps looking at Faith, who only shrugs as a reply. He gives up, and exits the room. Buffy slams the door shut behind him.  
  
"Oh, look. It's the Summers sisters", Faith says, producing a smirk, "Autumn. And little winter."  
  
Buffy's being all antisocial, and refuses to even smile at the girl's clever comment, "I'm so not winter. Try spring", I say, joining her word game, for no reason at all.  
  
Faith shrugs, "Yeah, I guess that makes sense", she says, "Dawn and spring... kinda the same thing", I can't believe she actually remembered my name, "So what brings you two to the poor side of the town?"  
  
"Clawen guy", Buffy answers immediately. And I perk up my ears. It's rare that any slayage-related information slips my way voluntarily, "Goes by the name Kakistos."  
  
Faith's face falls. The smirk is gone, and she starts to fidget, "What do you know about Kakistos?", she asks a little defensively.  
  
Buffy already opens her mouth to answer, but then she seems to remember me. I do my best to disappear into a corner, but her eyes still find me, "Dawn? Didn't you need to use the toilet?", my dear sister asks, squinting her eyes.  
  
"What?", I start to shake my head, and my gaze flips between the two slayers. Buffy is looking at me with determination, and Faith... well, Faith looks like this is the last place, where she wants to be. Kinda like me, "No. I'm fine."  
  
"Go", Buffy says forcefully, and nods towards the open bathroom door.  
  
"Buffy...", I breathe out her name, "You're NOT gona lock me in the bathroom!", I answer shaking my head again. She can't be serious! I would never use the toilet in a dump like this, no matter how badly I needed to go. Buffy grabs a hold of my wrist and starts pulling me towards the doorway, "Buffy!", I scream, "Stop it!"  
  
She flings me around, in front of her and pushes me inside the cramped toilet, "It's just for a few minutes. We got stuff to talk about with Faith", Buffy says, and the slightest touch of an encouraging smile that flashes across her face, is the only thing that stops me from screaming my little lungs out.  
  
"Buffy, please...", I plead, but she only closes the door in front of me.  
  
My God! What a great evening! I get to spend it in a flea infested motel's bathroom! I fight back the urge to start pounding on the door. That would again be acting like an immature child, and I've been doing my damnedest to get rid of that image.  
  
Taking a deep breath, I sit down on the toilet seat, and cross my arms over my chest. Stupid Buffy! I hate her SO much sometimes. Why couldn't I just stay home, if she didn't want me here? God! She makes me so mad! I wish I had superpowers, just so I could rip her from limb to limb. Well... maybe that's a little extreme. I could just lock her in the bathroom, and talk about all kinds of cool things with my friends just outside the door.  
  
A wrinkled picture of Buffy diverts my bloodthirsty thoughts. It's stuck into the frame of a mirror on the small cabinet door, just above the sink. I reach out and pick it up for closer examination. Why would Faith have a picture of Buffy? I recognize it immediately. It's her last school picture from LA. I have a similar one glued to one of my old diaries. Only mine is in much better condition. This one looks like it's been to Hell and back.  
  
It's one of my favorite pictures of my sister. She looks so young, and innocent in it. Taken at a time, before the vampires came and took it all away.  
  
I take another deep breath. It's so easy to forgive Buffy. All I have to do is, think of all the things she's gone through. And I can't stay mad. I just can't.  
  
"Like you took care of your watcher", Buffy's voice surprises me all of a sudden.  
  
Oh my God! I could've been listening through the door the whole time! Quickly I jump up, and press my ear against the door. It feels cold.  
  
I hear Faith's voice, but it comes from farther away, and it's not as clear. The words all blend together, into one big mumbly noise. Then I think I hear a knock. Can't be sure though, as Buffy talks again, "Faith, you run, he runs after you", she says, in her annoying lecture voice. Like she knows everything about everything. What's really annoying is, that sometimes she does. But occasionally she's wrong too, and nothing's more fun than letting her know it. Again, and again, and again...  
  
"That's where the head start comes in handy", Faith answers.  
  
Her voice is followed by a low growl, then some banging noises and finally a loud crash. I take a step back from the door, and try to decide whether to go out, or stay in. Did they get into a fight or something?  
  
"Oh no!", Faith's frantic scream still reaches me.  
  
"Scream later, escape now", Buffy says, only a second before the door in front of me swings open, and she grabs me from the wrist, "Let's go, Dawn."  
  
"Wha... what is it...", I try to stutter out a coherent question, when she yanks me into motion, "Buffy?", the apartment door comes crashing down, and I try not to scream, "B... Buffy?!", I ask again, when her hands grab me from the waist, and she hoists me into air.  
  
Everything's happening so fast. A huge monster comes barging through the doorway just when I turn to look at what Buffy's doing. She practically throws me through a broken window, head first. There's a sharp pain in my left arm, as I tumble out into the cool night. The fall seems high enough to kill me, and I brace myself for the hit. It never comes though. Strong arms grab me, before I strike asphalt. Slowly, I raise my head, and find myself gaping at Faith. She looks back at me for a while, and steadies me with her hands. She looks about as freaked, as I feel.  
  
"You okay?", the brunette asks shakily.  
  
It's weird, seeing her this way. Every time, all two of them, I've met her, she's seemed so confident. And strong. Like nothing could upset her. A lot like Buffy, really. My sister is so strong, that the one time something hurts her, it's like the world has come to an end.  
  
I manage to nod a response to the girl, just when Buffy drops down next to me, "Let's go", my sister, the slayer, only says.  
  
She grabs my hand again, and we're running. And I don't even know from what. Or I do, it's that big nasty man, that barged into Faith's room probably. I don't think I like this slaying gig that much, if this is what it is. I always thought it'd involve less running, and more... ass-kicking. And looking cool doing it.  
  
Faith is running little ahead of us, and she picks the route. When we come to a crossroads, she turns left, and just keeps going. Me and Buffy are falling behind, cause I can't run, "Faith!", Buffy calls to her, and slows down a bit. I dare to glance behind me, but there's nothing there. Not a single soul..less after us.  
  
Hey! There's a joke hidden there! I'm sure of it! Like, maybe right now, if there was a vampire after us, I could say to Buffy, 'There's not a soul behind us!', and then the vampire would eat her...  
  
"Can't you run any faster, Dawn?", Buffy furiously yanks my arm, and I stumble forward. I almost manage to catch my balance, but then kick my foot into something, and down I go. Head first into the asphalt. And the world turns black.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
The quiet murmuring voices feel so comfortable. They provide me with this invisible shield. Even though I'm not in control of anything, and even though I know I'm utterly helpless, the voices give me this feeling of safety. It's like, when I was a child, and I would fall asleep in the living room couch. Or not fully asleep, but half asleep. The conscious part of my brain would still catch mom and dad's voices, while they were quietly talking together. And I would feel safe, cause I knew they were there.  
  
That's how I feel now. But mom and dad aren't together anymore... we don't live in L.A. anymore... The conflict is unsettling. Scary. It takes away my deceptive feeling of safety.  
  
And I spring to sit up wide awake, gasping for air.  
  
Buffy is seated close by, on the same bed I'm in. She turns to look at me, slightly confused. Faith is beyond her, standing near the tv. Or not standing, but leaning on a desk. She's also looking at me. Less confused than Buffy though. We're in the motel room. Again.  
  
"How you feeling?", Buffy asks, and inches closer to me.  
  
And I instantly feel this throbbing headache. It's like her concern brought it up. I grimace, and bring my hand on to my right temple, "I fell...", I mumble, when the memories start to come back to me.  
  
"Yes, you did", Buffy says. She lifts her own hand and places it on top of mine, "Are you okay?"  
  
She sounds genuinely worried. And I guess she is that. Even if she is annoying at times, she still worries about me. Whenever I'm sick, she treats me almost like I was her child. And not her sister. I love it. Even so much, that I sometimes fake an illness, just to get her to fuss all over me. Of course, if she catches me acting, there's Hell to pay.  
  
"I have a God awful headache", I mutter, and wince, when another pain wave floods over.  
  
"I think I might have some aspirin", Faith says. Her voice is a little hollow. She sounds weird..er.  
  
I glance after her, when she starts to walk across the room, and towards the bathroom. Slash prison. Buffy's also looking at the brunette go, and seems troubled for a change. God, it's annoying being kept in the dark. Always have to be guessing. Drives me crazy sometimes. Like, what is her problem with Faith?  
  
Buffy finally turns back to me, when the other slayer has already disappeared out of sight. She gives me a weak smile, and pushes a few strands of my hair behind my ear, "You should lie back down", she says.  
  
I shake my head. A big mistake. Makes me dizzy. It takes me a while to focus my vision again. But I can't let Buffy know. Sometimes I fake feeling better than I actually do, so that she doesn't force me to stay in the bed. It's hard work, being a child, and trying to gather compassion through illness. You have to be sick enough to stay home, but not sick enough to have to sleep through the whole day. Cause, then what's the point?  
  
"What happened to the big guy?", I ask, when Buffy stops spinning in circles.  
  
It's my sister's turn to shake her head, "He's gone. Don't worry about it."  
  
Aww! I'm NOT worrying! I just wanna know!, "Gone where?", I ask tersely, trying to keep my voice even.  
  
Buffy glares at me under her brow. I'm always whining to know more about the slaying, than she is willing to tell, "Faith slayed him", she finally says.  
  
"Really?", my eyes open wider. He was SO big! Like a mountain, "But how? He was so big!", I exclaim.  
  
"Well, you know what they say", Faith surprises us both. She's come out of the bathroom, and is walking towards me, "The bigger they are...", she lets her voice fade away, not bothering to finish the sentence.  
  
"The harder it is to make them fall", I say, annoyed. Why can't anyone. Ever. Tell me. Anything.  
  
"No... I don't think that's what they say", Faith answers, shaking her head. Her voice is starting to get back its cocky quality. Good for her. Bad for me.  
  
She stands there for a second, grinning wickedly at me. And then startles a little, "Oh. Here're the pills", she says, tossing a pack of aspirin to me.  
  
I try to grab it in my hands, but fumble, and it falls on my lap. Faith grins again, and gives the glass of water in her other hand to Buffy. An awkward silence descends into the room, while I fight two pills out of the box, and engulf one of them. Buffy offers me the water, but I just shake my head. I'm a big girl, I don't need any water to swallow pills. And then the other one gets stuck in my throat, and I start to cough. Quickly I grab the glass with both hands, and take a big gulp. Faith snickers a little, and goes to sit down on a chair. But Buffy just smiles sweetly. Cause sometimes she's such a great sister.  
  
I smile back a little baffled. And then realize I'm still clutching something in my left hand. Or not clutching anymore, but more like pressing it against the glass. A piece of paper... what is that? I remove the hand from the glass, and take a better look at what's in it. The picture of Buffy! It's upside down, and barely recognizable anymore, but that's what it is. I must've been clinging onto it the whole time on the street. And while unconscious.  
  
"What's that?", Buffy asks.  
  
I look up at her, "Oh, it's...", I say, and then glance to my side, at Faith. She's slouching on the chair, looking very much like her former self already, "A picture of you actually...", I go on, without thinking, and still observing Faith. Why did she have a picture of Buffy on her mirror? And will she kill me, once she finds out I stole it? By accident of course! Wasn't my fault, I got yanked out of the bathroom so suddenly.  
  
Faith's expression changes. She becomes more serious, and I can see her tense up. The smug grin is all gone, "What?", Buffy asks, confused.  
  
The brunette keeps glaring at me for a few seconds, and then slowly shakes her head. Is that like a threat, or what? It does scare me a bit. I don't even know what she wants. Finally I turn back towards Buffy, who isn't smiling anymore. She squints her eyes slightly, and her gaze flips between me and Faith, "Yeah, a picture of you!", I suddenly chirp, and laugh shortly, "I found it in my pocket, while I was in the bathroom. Must've been there for years", I say. Why am I lying?, "Look how crumpled it is!", I hand the picture to my sister. She takes it, and frowns at me, before glancing briefly at it, "It's like old Buffy with wrinkles!", I laugh again, and turn towards Faith. She seems to have recommenced breathing, and isn't half as terrifying anymore. She even smiles at me a little.  
  
Buffy smirks, and gives the picture back to me, "How about, we take a look at young Dawn, with bruises?", she says quietly.  
  
How crude!, "You would beat me up, just because of a small comment, like that?"  
  
"Nah", she shakes her head, and smiles more softly this time, "I could paint them on you, though", she says, "You feel strong enough to go? I'm betting, mom's already called the cops."  
  
"Well, with your history, who could blame her?", I say. And regret it the instant, it's out of my mouth. Why can't I let the summer go? Why do I constantly have to keep bringing it up? It's not fair. She came back, that should be enough.  
  
"What history?", Faith decides to ask, when we both stay quiet after my comment.  
  
Buffy looks uncomfortable. She fidgets around on her seat. And I don't dare to open my mouth again, I can never be sure what's gona come out. And the wrong words now, would hurt my sister so much more.  
  
Buffy turns to look at the other slayer, "It's... nothing", she mumbles, shaking her head. I follow her gaze just in time to see Faith's face fall. She looks disappointed. Because she's left out. I can SO relate to that. I can relate so much even, that I feel bad for her, "We should go", Buffy says, "If you're up to it?"  
  
I nod once, and struggle up on my feet. I feel woozy for a moment, but it passes very quickly, "Thanks, Faith. For catching me and... letting me use your bed", I say, smiling my sweetest smile to her. She's not that bad really. Kinda nice, in her own way. Strange, but nice. Or maybe just strange, with a touch of nice.  
  
She nods an answer, doesn't say anything. It feels bad, when you're left out of the Buffy-loop. I know. It takes a while to get over it. I turn around, and place the half empty glass on the desk. And hesitate a second, before lowering the picture down too. It is hers, after all.  
  
"You better get that door fixed soon, Faith", Buffy says, when she leads me towards it. Right, the big guy came through it. It's leaning against its frames, looking very shaky, "And the window", Buffy adds a little uncertainly.  
  
"Sure will, B", Faith says. She hurries across the room, and lifts the door out of our way. I smile at her again, when we pass her on our way outside  
  
She sure doesn't have it easy. Having to live in a dump like this in the first place. And now it's even trashed. And I start to feel sorry for her. Me, Dawn, feeling sorry for a slayer! How screwed up is that! But she's not just a slayer. She's also a girl. And not much older than me. Three years, maybe. If I were in her place... I'd be dead. Slayer powers, or no. I wouldn't survive alone.  
  
Buffy would, though. I turn to look at her, when we walk down the stairs. Buffy is strong. And not just slayerwise. But also in other ways, "Buffy?", I say her name. She just keeps descending, a few steps ahead of me, "What are you gona tell mom?", I ask her.  
  
She only shrugs, "Just what happened", she says.  
  
"You don't have to, you know", I say, wanting to do her a favor. I don't do enough favors for her. She's a good sister. The best one, I have, "I could say, I got beat up in school."  
  
Buffy looks incredulous for a while. And then frowns, "Who would DARE to beat up my sister?"  
  
We reach the ground level, and I skip the few steps, and come to walk next to her, "No one would dare. But mom doesn't know that."  
  
Buffy keeps frowning a while, and then suddenly starts to laugh quietly, "You are SO weird", she says, after the short burst, "And never lie to mom about something like that", she adds, sounding very serious all of a sudden.  
  
I don't answer anything, and we keep walking in silence for a time. Tracing back the same trail, we came a few... how long ago was it, anyway? I have no idea. I have no idea, how long I was out. Not that it matters. Small things don't matter, when Buffy's protecting me. If there was reason to get worried, she would've done something.  
  
"Buffy?", I start again, after a minute or so. Again she doesn't answer, just keeps walking. It's annoying, the way she doesn't acknowledge my voice, "Should we... It's pretty harsh, leaving Faith all alone in that motel", I finally say, after gathering enough courage.  
  
"It's her life", Buffy shrugs. Her head is bowed down, and she has that serious thought expression on her face, "It's her choice, how she wants to live it."  
  
What? That's like the lousiest answer ever! If she doesn't care, she should just come right out, and say it. Instead of hiding behind some stupid freedom of will crap, "Oh", I say, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice, "Like you chose the way you wanna live?"  
  
Now she gives me her full attention. Turns to glare at me. With her mouth open, ready to contradict my words. But then she doesn't. Just closes her gaping mouth again, and turns to look ahead. Cause she has no answer.  
  
  
  
tbc 


	4. Sorts Of Friends

Dawn Of Time Part Four: Sorts Of Friends  
  
Author: Megan  
  
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Nothing `BtVS' related is mine. They belong to other people, Joss and whomever.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please: shy_grrl@hotmail.com  
  
Summary: Dawn struggles to find her place among Buffy's friends.  
  
Spoilers: Pretty much anything. Lots from `Faith, Hope and Trick' from season 3.  
  
Author's Notes: This story kinda works on the idea that Dawn is a real character, and not just some lame ass plot twist. It could also maybe work as a series of falsified memories planted by the monks. In short, it is season three with Dawn as the bonus element, and focus on the Buffy/Faith relationship. Also, lots of Buffy and Dawn sister stuff. Hope you don't mind about the latter, I just love writing it so much.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
School would be okay. If it weren't for the teachers always sticking their noses into my business. They always wanna know, why I have so many bruises. Like now, with the gruesome one, above my right eye. Sure, I'm pretty capable with the excuses, practice does make perfect, after all. But in the end, excuses only go so far. People tend to not believe them after a while. No matter how good they are.  
  
I could, of course, tell them the truth. That I tripped, while escaping a vampire with my sister. Actually, I tried that once, about a year ago, back in the kiddie school. All it got me, was a call to mom, and a few appointments with the guidance counselor. Cause vampires aren't real.  
  
And anyways, it's not like I'm the only student, who shows up all bruised and battered from time to time. But just because I'm a wee girling, everybody assumes I'm being abused.  
  
"Dawn, this is the second time this semester", miss Counselor says, "And we're only three weeks into it."  
  
Hey! It's not MY fault zombies attacked Buffy's party. Or that vampires chased us down the streets. It's Buffy's fault. Go whine to her, "Really? The second?", I say, furrowing my brow, "Hmm. The blow must've caused amnesia, cause I can't remember the first time."  
  
"This is not a joke, Dawn", the woman sighs, "If there's anything wrong at home, you can tell me about it. You SHOULD tell me about it", she says.  
  
God, she's annoying. Just like the one at my previous school. It's almost as if they wish something was wrong. So they'd have a way of justifying their employment. And that's just wrong. Accusing my mother of something like that. She may be clueless sometimes, but other times, she's very maternal, "There's nothing wrong with my home", I say forcefully. It'd be bad, if she got into her head to call the social workers on mom, "I just fall down a lot. I'm clumsy that way", I go on, nodding my head a couple of times.  
  
The woman keeps drilling me with her stare a while longer. I turn my head, and take a peek outside. It's a sunny day. And school's out already. Isn't there a law against keeping children in school, after it's ended? There should be.  
  
Finally, she takes a deep breath, and picks up her pen from the desk, "Okay then, Dawn", she says, scribbling something on my file, in front of her, "You can head home. Just be careful. Try not to... fall down so much."  
  
I grab my bag, and leave the room, "Bye", I chirp on my way, just to be nice. It never hurts to be nice. Unless... if someone threatened to hurt you, if you're nice. Then it could maybe hurt. But only then.  
  
The school hallway is empty. It's that late. Buffy and the gang might still be gathered in the library. She usually waits for me after school. Usually... what does that even mean? She's been in school less than a week. It was some scary stuff, starting in a new school, and not having my big sister around. I was kinda counting on that the whole last year. It was supposed to make my transition phase smooth. Of course, I still had Willow and... well, Xander. But it's not the same. I can't count on them to kick ass, if some big jerk decides to steal my lunch money. Plus, they were hugely busy with their boyfriends and girlfriends. Which Buffy wouldn't have even been. Cause her boyfriend is dead. Twice so... Okay... that hurts. Angel was nice. And he only came out at nights, so he didn't even hog my Buffy-time that much. The ideal boyfriend for a big sister really. Until he went all evil, and died, and... I shouldn't think about it. It's no use whining. He's gone, and Buffy's here, so everything's... good enough.  
  
"Hey, Spring!", a cheerful voice startles me from behind, when I'm walking towards the library. It's accompanied by a fist, which playfully punches me in the shoulder, "What's up?"  
  
I take a quick glance to my right, "Oh. Hi. Faith", I manage to answer her. Faith looks so very confident. So very. Even more so than Buffy, "What'd you call me?", I frown, when her words finally register in my head.  
  
"Spring", she says, and nods. When I only keep frowning in confusion, she changes her nod to a shake, "You know... sister to summer?"  
  
Oh... yeah. Right, "Still with that?", I ask, and turn to look where I'm going.  
  
She's quiet for a while. We round the corner, onto the corridor, where the library is located. It was kind of surreal, the first time I went in there, about two weeks ago. All these times, I'd heard Buffy and the rest talking about it. Doing the research thing, and fighting the good fight. And the library was like an epicenter for it all. And then, when I stepped inside, it was just a school library. Granted, a little weirdish school library, but still just a library. There weren't like... any heads of slain monsters, or nothing. Just books. Lots of them.  
  
"Well, once I get something in my head, it's kinda hard getting it out again", Faith says.  
  
I wonder why she's here? With me?, "You don't sa...", the picture! She came to kill me! I take another wary glance at her. She doesn't seem very homicidal, just walks there, next to me, like nothing. People don't usually walk with me. I walk with them. There's a small, but crucial difference, "Listen... I'm sorry about the picture", I finally gather enough courage to talk, "I didn't mean to destroy it like that."  
  
Faith is again quiet for a few seconds, "It doesn't matter", she says then, with a slightly tense voice.  
  
"I really didn't mean to even take it. But Buffy pulled me out of..."  
  
"I said, forget it", Faith rudely interrupts me.  
  
Again I glance at her. Her head is bowed down, and the initial cheeriness is all gone. She just looks uncomfortable now, "I could give you another one. I have lots of pictures of Buffy..."  
  
"I don't want a fucking picture of Buffy!", she suddenly shouts, scaring the Hell out of me. I jerk back a little, and stop on my tracks. Faith takes a few more steps, and then also stops, and flings around, "Look", she says, more in control of her voice again, "The picture isn't important. It was just something, so I would recognize her, when I found her."  
  
"Okay", I quickly agree with a nod. Whatever you say. The world is flat? Fine by me. But the picture... something about it just keeps bugging me. It's because... it was the only personal item in the bathroom. In the apartment really. The only thing that wasn't standard issue motel equipment. All worn out. Like a little girl's favorite doll. Special. I bet she tried smoothing it out, once we'd gone. And it's probably hanging on the mirror again.  
  
Again I feel this overwhelming compassion for the girl. Why does she have to live all alone in a freaking motel? What kind of life is that? It sounds so cruel. Even if she is the... a slayer, no one should have to live all alone, "Where'd you get it anyway?", I ask a little tentatively. Afraid she might blow up again. The picture just won't leave me alone. Why would she cherish a photo of Buffy so much?  
  
Faith glares at me briefly, and then turns to go again. The library is still a good distance away, "B was so right", she says, when I struggle to follow her. This is more familiar. People hurrying away, and me scrambling to keep up, "You just don't know when to shut up."  
  
What?, "B sai...", I start, and then shake my head quickly, "I mean, Buffy said that? When?", WHEN did Buffy say that? Why would Buffy say that? Buffy wouldn't say that... she's my sister...  
  
"When. Ever", she states, stressing the end hard.  
  
But she wouldn't say that! Well... okay, she would. Has said it. But she wouldn't say it to someone like Faith! Who she just met. I may not mean the world to Buffy, but she does have some sense of loyalty. She wouldn't go around pointing my annoying flaws to people.  
  
I give up trying to keep up with Faith, and just slow down to normal walk. She speeds through the corridor, and quickly leaves me behind. I don't care. So what, if some flighty bitch doesn't want my company? I do not care. But I still feel bad for her. God, I hate that I'm such a nice person. Why can't I just despise the girl, when she so clearly deserves it? It's not fair. Other people can hate me all they want, and when I try to do it back, I start seeing things from all these different point of views. And then everything gets all screwy.  
  
Faith reaches the library door, and without missing a beat, pushes herself through it, inside. I skip the last yards, so that I won't miss anything important.  
  
"So, what's the word?", I hear Faith's voice when I'm still in the corridor. It's back to its jovial self.  
  
"Umm... well, the Council has agreed, that I am to act as your watcher", Giles answers. His voice is more distant. And English, "For the time being, that is", he finishes.  
  
I come through the door at that very time, "Wicked!", Faith enthuses.  
  
The setting in the room is... weird. Very oppressive. Very. Like at a funeral. Willow is sitting by the table, slouched in her seat. There's an expression of anguish on her face, which she is trying her best to hide. Giles is standing behind Willow, close to the table, and holding onto a stack of papers.  
  
And then there's Buffy. She's at the end of the table, half turned around to look at Faith. And she looks like she's about to cry. All shaky on her feet. It's hard to see her as some superwoman, when she's like this. Cause she just looks so weak. I hope Willow and Giles haven't been picking on her again. I hate when they do that to her. She gets so sad, and angry.  
  
I stop walking, when I'm inside the room. But Faith must be blind. She totally ignores the heavy mood, and just waltzes right in the middle of it, "We're gona have some fun, ha, B?", she says.  
  
Buffy bows her head for a second, and then when she lifts it back up, there's a small smile on her mouth, "Yeah. Sure", she says with a nod.  
  
Faith pauses for a moment, "So, you wanna go out patrolling tonight?", she then asks, shrugging her shoulders.  
  
"Su... I mean, no", Buffy says, nodding first, and then shaking her head, "Tonight's not good. I have to... do this thing."  
  
"Ooh! Are you gona do Scott tonight?", Willow suddenly pipes up from her seat, all exited at first. And then horrified, "I... I mean... date him! Are you going on a date with Scott tonight?", she says, with her eyes as big as they get, "That's what I meant to ask", she nods her head once.  
  
I see, how Buffy fights a polite smile on her face, even though she isn't in the mood. It's so easy to tell, when she's smiling only out of kindness, "Neither", she says shaking her head again. And then bowing it down. Again, "There's this other thing, I've been...", suddenly her head pops back up, and she's looking at me, "Oh, hey, Dawn! You ready to go?"  
  
They all turn to look at me, and I get flustered by the sudden attention. It's like in class, when I'm distracted by something else, and the teacher suddenly asks me a question. And I have no idea, how I'm supposed to answer it. Cause sometimes, even when I know the answer, I have to pretend like I don't. Otherwise people might figure out, what a weird freak I am. And that's never good. But then there're some times, when I have to answer right. Cause I don't wanna come out as an idiot either. I wanna be normal.  
  
Of course, just swaying here silently from side to side, isn't exactly normal, "Dawn?", Buffy asks again, frowning this time.  
  
"I'm ready!", I suddenly yell for some reason. Also not normal.  
  
Faith is grinning her usual smug smile. I seem to get it a lot from her. Might have something to do with the fact, that I always do something stupid in front of her.  
  
Willow is smiling too, but her smile is soft. And comforting. She waves her hand slightly, and leans front in the chair, "Hey, Dawn", she says.  
  
And I have to smile back. You cannot not smile, when Willow smiles to you. It's not an option, "Hi. Willow", I breathe out the greeting, more relaxed. Willow has this soothing effect on me. When I see her, so happy with her life. And so... so content, I feel better. Cause if she can make it, I have a chance too. I'm not that much different from her. Except that she has a boyfriend. And she's almost out of high school. And she has a boyfriend.  
  
"Okay", Buffy says, when I've again been quietly ogling at them for a good while, "I guess, I should take her home. Her talking unit needs recharging."  
  
"Yeah, sorry about that", Faith says, "I must've worn it out in the hallway."  
  
Buffy grins at me, when she closes the distance between us, "Don't worry", she says to Faith, "It must be a built in flaw with this model. She does it all the time", Buffy's eyes flip once between me and Faith. She brings her hand up, and uses it to mess up my hair, while I make a weak effort to get away from it, "But we love her all the same."  
  
There's the same forced smile on her face still. She's just putting up a cheery act for her friends. They don't see the difference yet. If they ever will. I see it. Cause I've grown up with her. I've seen her fake happy to me before. In Los Angeles. Many times in Los Angeles. When the times got bad near the end, that was all Buffy did. Made believe that everything was all right. And I love her for that. I'll never be able to repay it. Not that she expects me to. Or expected. It's really the most beautiful thing, when a person does something so huge to you, without ever expecting anything in return.  
  
I won't be able to repay her for quite a many things. But I can sure as Hell try.  
  
I smile back at her weakly, "Going?", I ask.  
  
Buffy nods, "I see you guys tomorrow", she says glancing over her shoulder once more, "We go hunt", she adds with a grunt to Faith. And then turns towards me again, "Gone", she whispers, and we leave.  
  
Once out of the library, Buffy doesn't waste any time heading for the exit. It's actually twice as hard keeping up with Buffy, when she's on a mission, than with Faith. She's practically running. And I am running, though there's nothing practical about it.  
  
Thankfully Faith intercepts with our flight, "B!", she shouts from behind us.  
  
Buffy stops, and turns around. And I follow her example a second later. Faith's standing by the library door, and starts slowly walking closer. Her stare is fixed on Buffy. It's like she doesn't even see me. Or at least she doesn't acknowledge my presence in any way.  
  
"What?", Buffy asks her.  
  
Faith stops abruptly some five yards short. I glance at Buffy and find the reason. She's even more distraught now. She's fidgeting on her feet. And her expression only barely hides the pain inside anymore, "I'm.... you know... didn't mean to burst in on anything like that", Faith finally manages to say, "You know", she shrugs, "If it was, like, important or something. I just..."  
  
"It's fine, Faith", Buffy says, shaking her head, "It's.... I mean, we were just talking about An...", she starts saying, but changes her mind then, "We... we were finished already."  
  
The brunette keeps studying my sister for a while. She actually looks thoughtful. Must be the first time, "Okay", she then says, and nods, "So, tomorrow we'll go slaying?"  
  
"Definitely", Buffy says, "Bye."  
  
She quickly turns around, and nudges me from the shoulder, when I hesitate too long. We walk away again, but slower this time. Buffy doesn't seem to be in such a hurry anymore. Thank God. If there is one thing I hate, it's hurrying from place to place. What's the point? You can get there slowly just as well.  
  
"Buffy?", I say her name, once we reach the front door. Buffy pushes her way through it, "Were you talking about Angel?"  
  
She glances at me quickly, and the mask is almost all crumbled down now. I see how her eyes glisten with tears, "Not now, Dawn", she says, and turns to look forward again. And starts to walk a little faster.  
  
I skip a few steps to keep up with her, "What do you gotta do tonight..."  
  
"Dawn, please", she says, and her voice falters.  
  
Okay, then. I don't have to know. I just wanna help. And it'd be so much easier, if I knew what was going on. But it's not necessary. We walk in quiet for a time. Then, as her hand sways close to me once again, I take hold of it. She immediately gives it a weak squeeze, and I hear her draw in a ragged breath.  
  
tbc 


End file.
